Passion is a word thrown around rather cavalierly these days. Passionate love in a relationship. Passionate love for an interest or career or brand of ice cream. Passionate demonstrations in sports. We question the passion of those around us, from political candidates to spouses to bosses.
Sometimes, people use passion as an excuse to go over the edge. Crimes of passion, emotional outbursts excused by passion, hard hits in football explained away by losing oneself in the passionof the game.
Anger and Love go hand in hand - the opposite of love is not hate, but apathy. If we don't care about something, we would not waste our energy being angry about it.
But should passion truly be an excuse for bad behavior? For saying more than what should be said, for being disrespectful, for emotional or physical abuse? Said here, it feels clear that it should not, but everyday experience would say otherwise.
Passion should always be tempered with love. Not just passionate love, but the highest form of love - unconditional. When we take the high road - put others needs ahead of our own passions - we put into action that part of ourselves that separates us from the pack.
Should we play, work and love passionately? Absolutely. But Passion should be a driving force, not a cure-all excuse.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
The Perspective of Respect
"If you were any good, you'd be pitching for the Yankees!"
This quote, as reported by Ken Rosenthal at Fox Sports, comes from Cleveland Indians pitcher Paul Byrd's son - at the age of 7. Mr. Byrd was the winning pitcher this week ushering the Yankees out of the playoffs in the first round yet again.
Funny how a combination of marketing by the Yankees and the old concept of "familiarity breeds contempt" can taint someone's image. Paul Byrd has pitched in the major leagues for a decade, has a 97-81 record, and had a terrific year this year at 15-8. Not STELLAR, but pretty darn good, and worthy of respect.
Of course, the average 7 year old would be thrilled to have a father in the Major Leagues, but they come from the perspective of NOT having their father playing baseball for a living. For the Mr. Byrd's progeny, his perspective is that it is the norm, and why isn't his father the BEST - as we all try to push on our heroes in life?
They say respect is earned and not given. But what contitutes earning it is different for everyone. What are YOU demanding from those looking for your respect?
This quote, as reported by Ken Rosenthal at Fox Sports, comes from Cleveland Indians pitcher Paul Byrd's son - at the age of 7. Mr. Byrd was the winning pitcher this week ushering the Yankees out of the playoffs in the first round yet again.
Funny how a combination of marketing by the Yankees and the old concept of "familiarity breeds contempt" can taint someone's image. Paul Byrd has pitched in the major leagues for a decade, has a 97-81 record, and had a terrific year this year at 15-8. Not STELLAR, but pretty darn good, and worthy of respect.
Of course, the average 7 year old would be thrilled to have a father in the Major Leagues, but they come from the perspective of NOT having their father playing baseball for a living. For the Mr. Byrd's progeny, his perspective is that it is the norm, and why isn't his father the BEST - as we all try to push on our heroes in life?
They say respect is earned and not given. But what contitutes earning it is different for everyone. What are YOU demanding from those looking for your respect?
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
I Love Reading Amazon Reviews
Everytime I run across a new book (or new to ME), I run to Amazon to see how cheap I can buy it. The reviews are always interesting - often mostly positive, with one or two 1 or 2 star reviews. Take a look at Joel Bauer's How to Persuade People Who Don't Want to be Persuaded, for example.
It shows 11 five-star reviews, and 1 each for one, two and three stars. The lesser reviews tend to say Joel's ideas are old hat, or too narrow for wide usage. The positive reviews are all glowing and complimentary, in some cases, overly so: "So, In a nutshell if you interact with people for a living, you can?t live without this book.(sic)" by Kerwin.
This can be seen in almost any book buying page, though some books carry a little more controversy, such as The Secret, which has generated over 1700 reviews - including 865 five-star and 378 one star reviews.
Without debating the merits of either book here, I do want to point out the value of perspective. Who do I believe? One-star reviews often tend to be accusatory, short, and occasionally aggressive or mean. Five-star reviews can be a simple white-wash of the contents.
In choosing what I read or listen to in the business and self-help genre's, I ask myself one thing - do I know all I need to know on this subject yet? Even if I only get one idea, its probably worth the price of the book. Even if Mr. Know-it-all has already seen these ideas, and says they are elementary in his review, if I haven't heard them, they can still help ME. We can't all be exposed to all the ideas in the world - and not learning them because someone says we should already have learned them is ridiculous.
And then, once you've read the book - post your own opinion!
It shows 11 five-star reviews, and 1 each for one, two and three stars. The lesser reviews tend to say Joel's ideas are old hat, or too narrow for wide usage. The positive reviews are all glowing and complimentary, in some cases, overly so: "So, In a nutshell if you interact with people for a living, you can?t live without this book.(sic)" by Kerwin.
This can be seen in almost any book buying page, though some books carry a little more controversy, such as The Secret, which has generated over 1700 reviews - including 865 five-star and 378 one star reviews.
Without debating the merits of either book here, I do want to point out the value of perspective. Who do I believe? One-star reviews often tend to be accusatory, short, and occasionally aggressive or mean. Five-star reviews can be a simple white-wash of the contents.
In choosing what I read or listen to in the business and self-help genre's, I ask myself one thing - do I know all I need to know on this subject yet? Even if I only get one idea, its probably worth the price of the book. Even if Mr. Know-it-all has already seen these ideas, and says they are elementary in his review, if I haven't heard them, they can still help ME. We can't all be exposed to all the ideas in the world - and not learning them because someone says we should already have learned them is ridiculous.
And then, once you've read the book - post your own opinion!
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Life Begins...
Brooklyn Grace joined our family yesterday. She has 3 older sisters, and 2 older brothers - all of whom are ecstatic with her existence.
A day old, she is no longer a blank slate. She has experienced hunger, discomfort, confusion, as well as caring, caressing, breastfeeding, warmth, and communication. Every day she will experience and learn more - and I and my wife are primarily responsible for whatever goes into her brain, and fills up her slate.
What are you filling your slate with? It's not empty until you die.
A day old, she is no longer a blank slate. She has experienced hunger, discomfort, confusion, as well as caring, caressing, breastfeeding, warmth, and communication. Every day she will experience and learn more - and I and my wife are primarily responsible for whatever goes into her brain, and fills up her slate.
What are you filling your slate with? It's not empty until you die.
Friday, August 24, 2007
What Are Your Choices?
Do you ever wonder how you ended up where you are today?
Whether you are successful beyond measure, continuing to push toward your dreams, falling short of where you wish you were, or taking steps backwards into a reality you don't want to experience, it all comes down to a simple word.
CHOICE.
We live in a world which encourages us to escape our right to make choices, and trains us to become passive to the choices others make for us. We talk about what our parents did to us, or our teachers, or our spouses, or some other outside force. What we rarely discuss is our responsibility, in fact, our POWER, to choose our response.
If we have been victimized, it is our choice to remain a victim, or to move on with our life. If we have been mistreated, it is our choice to continue submitting to the treatment, or remove ourselves from the situation.
If we are rich and successful, this is also a result of our choices. Even were we an heir or heiress, we choose to stay liquid vs. blowing the money.
Invariably, it is not those at the extremes that truly battle with the concept of choice. It is the 95 percent of the world somewhere in the middle. Those not quite where they want to be. Those facing the normal struggles of life: a bad boss, a tough marriage, rough health issues. Risks of expansion, quitting a job, or taking a new job.
We say "I can't do" whatever it is that would change our situation, and blame it on circumstances - our family, our bills, our government, sometimes even our religion. So we don't do. And ultimately, that is a CHOICE. Inaction is as much a choice as action.
Don't waste your POWER. Your right to live as you choose. To think what you want to think. To be who you want to be.
You are your CHOICE.
Whether you are successful beyond measure, continuing to push toward your dreams, falling short of where you wish you were, or taking steps backwards into a reality you don't want to experience, it all comes down to a simple word.
CHOICE.
We live in a world which encourages us to escape our right to make choices, and trains us to become passive to the choices others make for us. We talk about what our parents did to us, or our teachers, or our spouses, or some other outside force. What we rarely discuss is our responsibility, in fact, our POWER, to choose our response.
If we have been victimized, it is our choice to remain a victim, or to move on with our life. If we have been mistreated, it is our choice to continue submitting to the treatment, or remove ourselves from the situation.
If we are rich and successful, this is also a result of our choices. Even were we an heir or heiress, we choose to stay liquid vs. blowing the money.
Invariably, it is not those at the extremes that truly battle with the concept of choice. It is the 95 percent of the world somewhere in the middle. Those not quite where they want to be. Those facing the normal struggles of life: a bad boss, a tough marriage, rough health issues. Risks of expansion, quitting a job, or taking a new job.
We say "I can't do" whatever it is that would change our situation, and blame it on circumstances - our family, our bills, our government, sometimes even our religion. So we don't do. And ultimately, that is a CHOICE. Inaction is as much a choice as action.
Don't waste your POWER. Your right to live as you choose. To think what you want to think. To be who you want to be.
You are your CHOICE.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
The Perspective of Success
Is success having it all, having the ability to have it all, giving it all away, or not needing it at all?
The world would answer "having it all". The ability to have it all is more the Sam Walton still drives a beat-up pick-up truck mentality. Giving it all away may mean living within your means and donating the rest.
Not needing to have it all - is that modesty, discipline, or settling?
What is having it all to you? Is it wrapped up in cars, homes, and other 'toys'? Is it family and fun? Is it good health? Clothes? Entertainment? For some, having it all is simply have the some outflow of money as inflow, without any real sacrifices.
Success can be found at many levels, and my success may not be your success. Even the more politically correct forms of success - the mushy gushy "my child looked at me and said I was the best Daddy ever" doesn't necessarily translate into success.
What is your definition of success? When you look in the mirror in the morning. When you sit alone in your car. When you lay awake at night. Are you content? Are you reaching YOUR goals? When its not about THEM - your boss, your friends, your family - are YOU satisfied with your day, your effort, your actions?
Are you a success?
The world would answer "having it all". The ability to have it all is more the Sam Walton still drives a beat-up pick-up truck mentality. Giving it all away may mean living within your means and donating the rest.
Not needing to have it all - is that modesty, discipline, or settling?
What is having it all to you? Is it wrapped up in cars, homes, and other 'toys'? Is it family and fun? Is it good health? Clothes? Entertainment? For some, having it all is simply have the some outflow of money as inflow, without any real sacrifices.
Success can be found at many levels, and my success may not be your success. Even the more politically correct forms of success - the mushy gushy "my child looked at me and said I was the best Daddy ever" doesn't necessarily translate into success.
What is your definition of success? When you look in the mirror in the morning. When you sit alone in your car. When you lay awake at night. Are you content? Are you reaching YOUR goals? When its not about THEM - your boss, your friends, your family - are YOU satisfied with your day, your effort, your actions?
Are you a success?
Monday, July 16, 2007
For Today, Just be Positive
Cynicism, negativity, sarcasm are rampant in the world today. Is it any wonder depression and hopelessness seem such easy places for us to go when the chips are down?
Even when faced with the option to be positive, our brain often tells us to "face reality", take off the "rose-colored glasses", and to quit being a "Pollyanna".
These statements have been ingrained in our psyche by those who have fallen prey to meloncholy themselves. They may be trying to drag us back to "reality", but it is THEIR reality, not MINE, and not YOURS.
Anthony Robbins and others talk about the 7 day mental diet - a week of positive thinking. I suggest the One-Day-at-a-Time Mental Diet. Just try it TODAY. Write a one hundred percent positive journal page. Disallow any negative TV or news or people from your life. If a negativity appears, deal with it head on without dwelling on it, or look at it from a completely new perspective. Give yourself a choice, as I often do with my children: "I said no for now - you can either cry about it in your bed, or you can find something more fun to do".
Life is life, and negativity happens. What's YOUR choice?
Even when faced with the option to be positive, our brain often tells us to "face reality", take off the "rose-colored glasses", and to quit being a "Pollyanna".
These statements have been ingrained in our psyche by those who have fallen prey to meloncholy themselves. They may be trying to drag us back to "reality", but it is THEIR reality, not MINE, and not YOURS.
Anthony Robbins and others talk about the 7 day mental diet - a week of positive thinking. I suggest the One-Day-at-a-Time Mental Diet. Just try it TODAY. Write a one hundred percent positive journal page. Disallow any negative TV or news or people from your life. If a negativity appears, deal with it head on without dwelling on it, or look at it from a completely new perspective. Give yourself a choice, as I often do with my children: "I said no for now - you can either cry about it in your bed, or you can find something more fun to do".
Life is life, and negativity happens. What's YOUR choice?
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