Do You Crave Feedback?

Most of us don't. Most of us just want to do something, receive accolades, and move on. In absence of accolades, we'll accept silent acceptance. Certainly, we almost always wish to avoid the dreaded 'constructive' or 'not-so constructive criticism' of our employers, co-workers, clients, spouses; whoever is involved in the process with us.

Its easy to hear both benign suggestions and harsh criticisms as the same thing: an attack on what we've done - in the case of speaking, often an attack on what we believe and who we are, not just how we sound.

I've worked with clients who are scared to get in front of an audience, as well as those who can 'WOW' an audience - both are capable of climbing to a higher level by learning to crave feedback - to accept that they have someplace better they want to go, and be willing to hear the truth it takes to get them there.

For those that put the sheet over the mirror, or jealously work to maintain the status quo in order to stay 'under the radar', their consequences go beyond just not getting better at their chosen pursuit. Sooner or later (usually sooner), they fall behind the curve, not only failing improve, but deteriorating.

As a speaking coach I take feedback even as I give feedback. I coach individuals from their starting point, not my own. In the past week, I've evaluated three projects that couldn't be more diverse, working with personalities of three distinctly different types. I give feedback, I get feedback, I give more feedback based on their feedback - and improvement happens in leaps instead of steps.

The Origin of New Foot Smell

In 2006, I needed to write a speech for a District Competition in Toastmasters that covered Eastern Washington and Northern Idaho. The event took place 4 weeks after my amputation. I felt I had to address the situation, without creating a speech which made my audience feel sorry for me.

I developed "Live Your Legacy" which took the story of my Grandfather's preoccupation with leaving a specific legacy with my doubt I could leave a strong legacy if I was unable to walk. When I discussed the surgery, I used terms such as 'upgrade', 'super-deluxe robot leg', and celebrated my solution, my 'New Foot Smell'.

This speech, along with 8 others from myself, 2006 World Champion Ed Hearn, and 2nd place winner Douglas Wilson, is compiled, with background information on our journey to the World Championship of Public Speaking, in our book Win Place & Show.

In December, I'm running a special on the book - with it comes a Video of me performing at the next level, still in a wheelchair, but with the same positive humor that got me there in "Live Your Legacy".

Buy a copy for yourself, your friends, or the guy walking down the street, at http://www.richhopkins.net/WinPlaceShow12.htm!

Is Public Speaking Back in Style

Fellow coach Lisa Braithwaite found this article online - Presidentially Speaking: 59% Say Public Speaking is Back in Fashion suggesting public speaking is back in style!

It outlines a survey of 1700 anonymous USA voters who felt the abilities of President-Elect Barack Obama vs. the ability of Sen. John McCain in the public speaking arena weighed heavily on their choice of whom they would elect.

The conclusion of the article is that 'Public Speaking is Back in Style' - that poor speakers are now held to a higher standard than they have been in years. Whether our presidential election was decided by public speaking is not 100% sound theory - but it certainly had an effect.

Quality public speaking goes beyond keeping your 'ahs & uhms' under control. Physical delivery, facial expression, vocal control, word choice, and authenticity all impact the effectiveness of your communication.

Have you ever heard a bad speech? Have you ever given one? I know I have - and it has driven me to improve my own skills, and dedicate a significant portion of my career to helping others improve theirs.

What will YOU do to ensure your next speaking opportunity, to your employees, stockholders, or association hits the mark? If public speaking is back in style, you may be called to speak sooner than you think!

Why Drive When You Can Walk?

Two of my kids started a new school today. Well, actually, same school, brand-new building! No longer needing to be bussed, they get walked to the school in the morning, and walked back when done.

This is a ton of walking for my wife - who has to drop both off, then walk one home at noon, the other at 2:45. So I thought we'd go pick the older one up by car. Upon arrival, my 2nd grader was down - she wanted to WALK home! So I dropped off my dear wife, and they walked while I drove.

Walking wasn't the bad choice for my daughter. She didn't care that it was cold, that it took longer, or that it required actually using muscle. She saw it as a chance to be outside, be with mom, and have fun.

Do you ever look at the oft considered bad ways to do things for their benefit? Taking the long route? Enjoying the journey, the process?

Its so easy to speed through the tasks of daily living. Before we realize, we've sped all the home.

The Spin of Perspective

Yesterday, the 15th ranked Brigham Young Cougars escaped with a win over the struggling Washington Huskies in Seattle. After Washington quarterback Jake Locker rushed into the end zone for a game-tying touchdown with 15 seconds left, he joyously threw the ball straight up into the air as he was mobbed by excited teammates.

Unfortunately, his youthful spirit violated the new anti-celebration rules, causing him to be flagged for unsportsmanship. The new rules cover everything from planned celebrations to slash-the-throat gestures to, apparently, spontaneous displays of joy.

A look at the actual NCAA rule:

Rule 9/2
2. After a score or any other play, the player in possession immediately must return the ball to an official or leave it near the dead-ball spot. This prohibits:
(a) Kicking, throwing, spinning or carrying (including off of the field) the ball any distance that requires an official to retrieve it.
(c) Throwing the ball high into the air.
been called.

This moved the ball back 15 yards for the extra point, which BYU skillfully blocked, and this wonderful college game was denied the chance of reaching legendary status in the annals of overtime.

Instead, the papers today are all talking about the rules, the officials who could have overlooked the call, the dynamics of a longer extra point, etc.

For my purposes, lets talk public relations from the standpoint of the BYU coach. After the game he said that "But I do know this: throughout the entire game, there were all kinds of [celebratory] plays on both sides," he said. "That [one] was the most visible. But celebration is a penalty. Whether it was or not, I didn't see it, but if it was, it should have been called. Even if it was on our team, it should have been called; the rules are the rules.". Fair enough - a safe stance that avoided calling the other team a bunch of celebrating whiners.

BUT - what if......

What if Coach Bronco Mendenhall had come out with some righteous anger on the side of his opponent? Said "its a shame the officials made that call" and "It takes what could have been a classic memory for both sides and turns it into yet another game severely impacted by officials".

He'd won the game. His kids did what they had to do, block a long extra point, which still should have been an easy make for the Huskies. But to show frustration for his opponent, to empathize with the plight of Jake Locker, who didn't do anything more than be happy to score, how many points would Coach Mendenhall have scored for himself and his University. He may have been fined by the NCAA for criticizing the officials - but he can afford it.

The reward would have been the ultimate in sportsmanship: showing empathy for ones opponent, and championing the spirit of college football - if the not the letter of the law.

The Day the Voiceover Died.

Voiceover master Don LaFontaine died Monday at the age of 68.

In case the name doesn't ring a bell, watch the video below:


You may have heard people suggest you watch a movie with the sound down to feel the impact a soundtrack truly makes. A voiceover artist does just as much in a preview, or in driving the plot of a commercial. Mr. LaFontaine's voice became identifiable to us without us even realizing it. He narrated both our TV and Movie lives.

His voice was his brand, just as much as Sinatra, Johnny Cash, and Pavarotti.

Is there something about you that you can brand? It doesn't have to be exclusive - there were plenty of other voices on the airwaves. It doesn't have to be complicated or catchy. Carol Burnett had the ear tug, Johnny had the golf swing, Michael Jackson had his glove. Not their only talents or IDs, but memorable nonetheless.

Look for things that make you who you are, instead of always looking to create new concepts. The do it everywhere for 25 years. And you will be remembered as fondly as the Master of Voiceovers.

Holy Perspective, Batman

Everytime I read an article about how great the Dark Knight is doing at the box office, it is followed by a disclaimer. Because of inflation, not nearly as many tickets are being sold. It would have to do over 900 billion to beat Titanic, and 1.2 billion to beat Star Wars.

What does nobody mention? How 'bout the fact that there were so fewer alternative forms of entertainment when both of those movies came out? Cable TV, the Internet, Video games - these didn't exist for Star Wars, and were not nearly as advanced or addictive in the late 90s. Not to mention no one thought they'd be able to see Star Wars at home on DVD within 6 months of its release. We just prayed the commercials would cut out too much with the Network Light Sabres once it came on TV.

The Dark Knight may not be the biggest movie in history. So what? It's still amazing that a 70 year old comic book hero can take over the world for a month.

Don't Wait

I waited too long to get to know Randy Pausch. I'd been forwarded links to his talk, The Last Lecture many times over the last 10 months or so, and watched the first few minutes before moving on. An hour and 16 minutes just seemed like a long time to focus.

I watched it Monday, in the wake of his death, as well as his presentation on Time Management, which is also a strong topic for a dying man to discuss.

Now, I never would have met Randy had I seen these earlier. I wouldn't have wanted to waste his time, for one thing. That's not the point. The point is, why did I wait? Hearing his lecture would have been useful 10 months ago.

Its amazing how many things we decide are more important than others. How many times did I spend 76 minutes watching a ballgame (on the internet, no less), or reading meaningless articles on Slate or Rotten Tomatoes? I decided Randy's lecture was too much to deal with - too hard to make time for - much like the unread books in the shelf by my desk.

Randy was not unique in the fact that he was dying, just in the fact that he had a better grasp of it. He could have died in a car accident 6 months ago, however, just like you or me. We are all dying, every day. What Randy says, among other things, and what I hope to remember, is that every day we are also living - if we so choose.

Dark Knight

The biggest movie of the year has started out with record setting box office numbers in its first day. In fact, it's midnight showing alone took in 18 million dollars.

Part of the appeal may be a choice made by its co-star, Heath Ledger, to overdose this winter. The interest in this film was already high, but with his James Dean-esque appeal, it has taken on a new glow.

No one, including him, I'm sure, would have made the choice he made knowing the consequences. Whether it was calculated, miscalculated, or in-the-moment - the choices Heath Ledger made have affected his legacy, the 2008 box-office, the Oscar race, and, hopefully, the conversations of parents with their teens.

It is the last of these, the conversations, that could truly represent the legacy of Ledger and even the Dark Knight, in the months to follow. Drugs are dangerous. Risky. Unpredictable. Success does not create invincibility. A posthumous Oscar brings no joy to the recipient.

Go ahead - go see the movie. Enjoy it for what it is - 2 1/2 hours of escapism. But don't let Ledger's choices go to waste. Have the conversation with your tween or teen. Don't wait until you experience your own dark night.

Broken Foot Smell

I broke my leg today.

I took a step down the hall, and it felt like I slipped on water. In truth, the lower part of my prosthetic separated from the upper part, causing it to buckle.

Luckily, I didn't fall, I wasn't crossing a busy road, I wasn't climbing a mountain, and I wasn't giving a speech!

And, luckily, in the back seat of my car was my older prosthetic, ready to substitute.

You never know what can go wrong in life. Sometimes you can plan ahead, sometimes you simply have to move forward. We can try to have a spare, but had I been out of town, I would have had to find different solutions. A wheelchair, crutches, crawling. Sitting there helpless would also be an option, but not terribly productive.

Plan for a spare, and consider your options. If something unthinkable happens, how will you handle it? Will you be left without a leg to stand on?

What is Intuition?

I just had an interview by phone with a young CEO for a company in St. George. They were looking for a contract sales trainer to travel the world part-time.

The call didn't go well. He decided in about 10 minutes I didn't have the 'intuitive abilities' to handle the position. Of course, he was completely wrong - as he didn't realize that it took me all of 10 seconds to realize I didn't want to work with this arrogant child.

What is intuition? A gut feeling? Or the quick assessment of information given?

What I heard immediately? Arrogance. Impatience. Self-entitlement. His tone of voice was aggressive and petulant. He wanted to make it clear he was boss.

Personally, I have no desire to work for someone else, unless it is a PERFECT situation. I knew immediately this was not it, and went into an interview mode designed to end the call quickly.

Midway through the call, he suggested I was too rigid in my approach to training. Hmmm - my clients don't seem to think so.

At the end of the call, he suggested I didn't have the intuitive powers to be successful with his company.

Ahh...he couldn't be further from the truth!

When your intuition hits, do you follow it, or ignore it hoping it will go away? I have found time after time, whether in business or personal relationships, that ignoring my gut feelings is a mistake.

It's easy to do though. We get blinded by money, power, lust, prestige - and we tell our intuition to go take a hike.

There's a reason intuition is called a gut feeling. It's the stomach trying to defend itself from a kick in the near future.

New Book Smell?

Went to Barnes & Noble the other day to pick up a copy of Bobby Fischer teaches chess, a partial inspiration for a speech I gave Saturday night. Found it, went to the register, and suddenly remembered I wanted another book - the One Minute Millionaire. I told the cashier if she could have someone get that for me quickly.

Her response? I can't leave here, I can't talk to anyone, but I could go back to the Customer Service desk (in the middle of the store) and they would gladly help. I told her if she helped me, it'd be an automatic extra sale. There was NO ONE behind me.

Her response? "Do you have a rewards card". I replied in the negative, and she asked if I wanted one.

My response? Why would I want one if she can't get me a darn book?

Sheesh - where is the world going?

America Overrules Idol Judges

So much for throwing the competition. If that was David Cooks goal, America strongly voiced their opinion by making him an overwhelming (12 million votes) winner of season 7's American Idol.

It will be interesting to hear his first album, and track his success vs. David Archuletta, and the previous Idol winners. Will David be able to put his own imprint on the tracks, or will it be another over-produced, milquetoast debut for the Idol winner?

David Cook Throws Idol?

The first part of the American Idol Finale last night was shocking. After wowing the judges and the rest of America the last 3 months, David Cook was - Mediocre.

He wasn't bad, but he wasn't himself. Meanwhile, David Archuletta was on top of his game, performing 'molten hot', as Randy Jackson would say.

I believe David Cook was throwing the competition. He was clearly not living up to his prior performances, was deferent to David A. in body language throughout the show, and made horrible song choices for the two he had some control over.

And why not? Some of the biggest winners of Idol have lost. Aiken & Daughtry most significantly. With David Cook often compared to rocker Chris Daughtry, many thought he would win because Daughtry did not. But Cook knows with victory comes responsibility. He's beholden to Idol, and their often poorly produced first albums. Haven't heard much from Jordin Sparks or Mr. Soul Patrol, have we? And if Ruben Studdard didn't perform on Idol, where else would he sing?

Cook's best chance is to go it alone, and keep greater creative control. At 26, he's far readier to go be an instant success than David A., who will greatly benefit from the guidance of the Idol Machine.

David Cook knows he's the American Idol. But he's willing to sacrifice the title for a tremendous career. By throwing the title, his New Foot Smell will be an amazing first album, and a sold out concert tour.

Could you do the same?

Logic v. Intuition

I have been, for 39 years and 11 months, a cynic. I have pooh-poohed positive affirmations. I have said 'yeah right' to any idea that seemed Pollyanna, Get Rich Quick, or remotely Positive Mental Attitude related.

Mind you, I haven't doen this INTENTIONALLY. I have, in fact, a huge library of books by Napoleon Hills, Norman Vincent Peale, Anthony Robbins, Brian Tracy, Zig Ziglar, Stephen Covey, Jack Canfield, and dozens of other authors.

And YES, I've read them. But in the back of my mind, I've always said "yeah - right - whatever", even as I tell others that these are effective strategies. I know intuitively that these are right, but my MIND battles the heart. I've been taught this is the right way. Logic over Intuition. Spock over Kirk. Even though I KNOW and have empirical evidence that if I just BELIEVE, these strategies will work. This is why I can teach them with such conviction.

My internal critic, as Julia Cameron tells me, is a naysayer. The one who tells me its not possible for ME. It is for everyone else, but not ME.

And there are always plenty of Naysayers in my life, from family to friends to ex-employers to those folks that give books one-star reviews on Amazon (see the earlier post).

I am committed to Killing my Naysayer (just the internal one - not those people around me, whom I will simply learn to manage better).

What part of you do you need to 'kill' to get it out of your way? Can you release your internal Capt. Kirk (who always beats Spock at Three Dimensional Chess with intuition over logic)? Finding your New Foot Smell depends on it!

New Card Smell

I just printed new business cards designed to create a conversation - asking 'What's Your New Foot Smell?'.

I'm ready with a quick answer - 'It's like the new car smell - something that reinforces a great tough decision you've just made - and puts you on top of the world.'

This then leads into more discussion regarding their needs for either a speaker or coach.

When people pick up your business card - what does it create?

Lists, Goals, or Purpose?

Time management - the buzzword of the 90's. We all have the same 24 hours. Spening time vs. spending QUALITY time. If only we were more organized, we'd have more time. Its time to STOP!

We already spend our time doing what we want - whatever is easiest, whatever keeps us out of trouble - whatever gives us the highest reward with the lowest output of energy. Of course, one person's 'lowest output' maybe practicing for a marathon while another's is getting a faster time on flipping through the channels on the remote.

We've spent time trying to get ourselves in Time Management shape - writing down our goals, building to-do lists, even dedicating blocks of time to certain activities.

But what about PURPOSE? Why do we do all these things? Why must we accomplish the list? To feel good? To provide security to our family? To ensure we live longer? To have fun? When we understand our purpose, or create a purpose that means something, time management becomes easier. We know everything we're doing is leading towards not just a greater goal, but fulfilling WHO we want to be.

Sometimes that means cutting out some items on that list, or reassessing how important certain goals are. By defining our purpose, we will be able to better determine not just how to manage our time, but to enjoy it as well.

What is your Purpose?

Total Commitment

The New Foot Smell means total commitment.

How often, when faced with a decision, do we waffle from one choice to the next? Cover our bases, and try to create a fallback position?

We justify this thinking by saying "if we're wrong, we need to minimize the damage". A lack of commitment, however, can often cause more damage.

To have one foot in and one foot out of a relationship rarely leads to a better relationship. Instead it builds mistrust, creates an easy out, and allows one to focus on other things.

If change is necessary, but we always carry a reset button, can we truly commit our financial and emotional resources to the change, or are we always looking for the problem to arise so we can go back to a more comfortable position?

To truly create lasting change, commitment is key. True sacrifice will create transformation. If it doesn't go as planned, eliminating the fallback position doesn't eliminate your safety net - it forces you to create new solutions, propelling you to lasting change and greater creativity, and preventing you from languishing in the status quo.

Tiger's Feat

Did you see Tiger Woods 25 foot birdie on the 18th hole to win Arnold Palmer's Tourney yesterday? It was the equivalent of a 60 yard field goal with no time left. A halfcourt heave as the buzzer sounds. A no look, length of the ice goal with .01 seconds left.

On top of that, he tied Ben Hogan with 64 PGA wins - a feat he's accomplished in 11 years vs. Hogan's 21 - and he doesnt play more than 20 times a year.

What is Tiger's New Foot Smell? What could a man with millions of dollars, a supermodel wife, the world at his beck and call be sacrificing?

His practice regimen is fierce. His devotion to his craft unparalleled. But his sacrifice began as a child - when he reached an age of accountability and continued to choose the path his Father had put him on from age 2. He didn't rebel, but embraced the dream, internalizing beyond living up to his father, so he now lives up to himself. A standard higher than any other golfer on tour. A standard that appears higher than .0000001 percent of the world population.

Have you embraced your dream? Do you spend every moment taking action towards it, or do you bring it down to dust off, admire for an afternoon, and then return to the shelf?

Embrace your dream - make an exceptional choice - and enjoy your New Foot Smell!

Sign Up For My Newsletter!

I have finally taken the Leap to offer a weekly (hopefully) newsletter that discusses how we can Leap From Acceptable to Exceptional, delves deeper into the concept of Your New Foot Smell, as well as sharing various offers and deals available from me and those whose experience I value.

To sign up - hit the button on your left, near the top!

Focusing on Your Goals

It is amazingly easy to get distracted - as I have been distracted from my blog posting goals. Every few months, I 'decide' I'm going to go back to posting every two days, and within a month, I get distracted.

Currently, I post in 3 different forums on a daily basis. Why is this easier? Because I usually get immediate feedback. Let's face it - unless you are Seth Godin, getting massive traffic to your blog isn't easy, and one can feel a bit isolated and ignored no matter how often they blog.

How does can we stay focused, even when we don't see an immediate payoff? Create one for ourselves that we control. Set a concrete goal - I will write every 2 days, I will do 10 pushups a day, I will make 50 phone calls daily - and set up rewards you know you can follow through on. Maybe its going to a movie, or buying a book, or taking a walk. Something that is important enough to inspire you to action.

Or, go the other way, and set up huge consequences for not fulfilling your goal. Promise to scrub the toilets, or make a home-made dinner, or repaint the living room. As long as it inconveniences and annoys you, you are more likely to do the easier of two choices. Always inspire yourself to action.

I intend to stay focused, and meet a few lofty goals in February. And if I don't, well - lets just say my wife will wonder why I'm cleaning toilets and wiping down shower stalls!