Do You Have All The Pieces?

Today I spent roughly four hours at the kitchen table with my 10 year old son, and varying combinations of the other 5 kids, putting together one of his birthday gifts - Techno Gears Marble Mania EXTREME - with over 330 pieces.

It's one of those gifts Grandparents buy to exact revenge on their kids - or in this case his son-in-law!

"Over 330 pieces" means they don't really know how many pieces, I suppose. Like every good father, we looked at the instruction book, and began to count out the pieces - and came up 3 short. But with "Over 330 pieces" all over the table, there was no going back.

Throughout the afternoon, the masterpiece was built - corkscrews, ramps, levers, gears, and so much more! Up and up it climbed, until we were almost done, almost perfect, and the piece we needed wasn't there. The final ramp, the coup de grace, cannot be installed. We can still put marbles on the next level down, and it works. It's still cool - just not as cool as it's designed to be!

When you speak, do you have all the pieces? Do all the stories fit together to drive your points home? Does your humor mesh with the audience, and not take away from your content? Is your close as strong as your opening?

Sometimes, like my son's Marble Mania EXTREME, it's the small pieces that can take away from the ultimate "coolness" of your presentation. Gestures, eye contact, movements on stage, poor outfit selection - even these 'small' things can take a great performance and knock it, and your image and profit potential, down a notch.

I've got to wait a few weeks for replacement pieces - but after a quick inventory, you can fix your speeches in seconds!

What IS Your New Foot Smell?

Among other things, its a book I am working on of compiled stories that illustrate the benefit of being willing to let go of something for something better.

In both our personal and professional lives, there are portions that are good, but not great (my apologies to Jim Collins). Sometimes issues that bug us, but not enough to do anything about them.

Last year, my left ankle stopped bearing my weight. I was given several options - keeping the leg and using crutches or a wheelchair for the rest of my life, surgery with a low probability of success, and no chance of LONG-term success, or the most extreme: amputation.

I didn't HAVE to cut off my leg. Plenty of people live in wheelchairs and have a great life. I didn't have diabetes or any other condition that would have spread the pain to the rest of my body. I could have lived with it, and stayed whole. Having surgery seemed like using fix-a-flat - temporary at best. Amputation, while extreme, has given me greater freedom than I've had in a decade. No pain, and the bonus of wearing regular shoes!

I traded in something that I could have kept for something better. I could have lived with it, I could have kept hoping it would get better, but by being willing to let go, and being willing to wobble before I walked, I have improved my quality of life tremendously.

Do you have something in your life that you just "live with"? Something that you wish worked better, but it doesn't annoy you so much that you MUST deal with it? If you run a business, do you have employees, departments, or methods of doing things that don't work incredibly well, but don't work badly enough for you to do something about them?

We spend much of our lives attacking life and death decisions - reacting quickly to ward off certain destruction. But when life is calm, take a look at what you are settling for, and just living with. Consider letting go of something in favor of something completely new - even if you have to wobble for awhile. Even rose bushes need pruning to allow branches to grow stronger, and new branches to appear.

When you become willing in life to let go of the acceptable in pursuit of what is exceptional, you will find you OWN new foot smell!

PS: Have a great story? Send it to me and you might be published by February!

Are You an Expert?

We have a plumbing issue in our house. As I type this, the water is off, and if we turn it back on, we'll flood the house. This issue has been going on for the past 3 days. My answer on Monday? Call a plumber.

But someone who will go unnamed felt differently - "I can fix it - I'll just go to Home Depot". Unwilling to battle, I let it go on, and watched the back and forth struggle. "Oh, wrong part. Oops, don't have the right tools. *%$# I think I twisted the pipes".

The plumber is coming this afternoon, two days, $40, a tank of gas, and endless frustrations later.

We pay for experts because they can do something we either can't or don't want to do, or they can do it faster, or, HOPEFULLY, they can end up with a better finished product.

As a speaker, are YOU an expert? Do you position yourself as such? What do you have to offer that others with your information do not? There's nothing truly new under the sun, just varying shades of gray. But what we add to the information is why people hire us. When they see you as an expert, they will pay you more, and more often.

Don't just be a speaker - be an expert!

Passionate Gore wins Nobel Prize

8 years ago, Al Gore had no passion, no charisma, and no brother in Florida to push him into the Oval Office.

Today, his passion has brought him the Nobel Prize. Political speech writer Doug Wead talks about political speakers accused of being lackluster as victims of a system aimed at offending people the least.

Since tackling the Greenhouse Effect, Al Gore could care less who he offends, and doesn't need money from big business to support his cause. If you haven't seen him speak lately, take a look at this, or check out "An Inconvenient Truth".

With the world seeing who he really is, could he now insert himself into the presidential race, pushing between Hillary and Barack to be the new frontrunner? Some experts think so.

Who do people see when YOU speak? Do you portray you the "speaker", or you the Person? While it can be important not to offend, don't water your speeches down to the point that you lose your passion, or you will soon lose your audience as well!

Passion vs. Anger

Passion is a word thrown around rather cavalierly these days. Passionate love in a relationship. Passionate love for an interest or career or brand of ice cream. Passionate demonstrations in sports. We question the passion of those around us, from political candidates to spouses to bosses.

Sometimes, people use passion as an excuse to go over the edge. Crimes of passion, emotional outbursts excused by passion, hard hits in football explained away by losing oneself in the passionof the game.

Anger and Love go hand in hand - the opposite of love is not hate, but apathy. If we don't care about something, we would not waste our energy being angry about it.

But should passion truly be an excuse for bad behavior? For saying more than what should be said, for being disrespectful, for emotional or physical abuse? Said here, it feels clear that it should not, but everyday experience would say otherwise.

Passion should always be tempered with love. Not just passionate love, but the highest form of love - unconditional. When we take the high road - put others needs ahead of our own passions - we put into action that part of ourselves that separates us from the pack.

Should we play, work and love passionately? Absolutely. But Passion should be a driving force, not a cure-all excuse.

The Perspective of Respect

"If you were any good, you'd be pitching for the Yankees!"

This quote, as reported by Ken Rosenthal at Fox Sports, comes from Cleveland Indians pitcher Paul Byrd's son - at the age of 7. Mr. Byrd was the winning pitcher this week ushering the Yankees out of the playoffs in the first round yet again.

Funny how a combination of marketing by the Yankees and the old concept of "familiarity breeds contempt" can taint someone's image. Paul Byrd has pitched in the major leagues for a decade, has a 97-81 record, and had a terrific year this year at 15-8. Not STELLAR, but pretty darn good, and worthy of respect.

Of course, the average 7 year old would be thrilled to have a father in the Major Leagues, but they come from the perspective of NOT having their father playing baseball for a living. For the Mr. Byrd's progeny, his perspective is that it is the norm, and why isn't his father the BEST - as we all try to push on our heroes in life?

They say respect is earned and not given. But what contitutes earning it is different for everyone. What are YOU demanding from those looking for your respect?

I Love Reading Amazon Reviews

Everytime I run across a new book (or new to ME), I run to Amazon to see how cheap I can buy it. The reviews are always interesting - often mostly positive, with one or two 1 or 2 star reviews. Take a look at Joel Bauer's How to Persuade People Who Don't Want to be Persuaded, for example.

It shows 11 five-star reviews, and 1 each for one, two and three stars. The lesser reviews tend to say Joel's ideas are old hat, or too narrow for wide usage. The positive reviews are all glowing and complimentary, in some cases, overly so: "So, In a nutshell if you interact with people for a living, you can?t live without this book.(sic)" by Kerwin.

This can be seen in almost any book buying page, though some books carry a little more controversy, such as The Secret, which has generated over 1700 reviews - including 865 five-star and 378 one star reviews.

Without debating the merits of either book here, I do want to point out the value of perspective. Who do I believe? One-star reviews often tend to be accusatory, short, and occasionally aggressive or mean. Five-star reviews can be a simple white-wash of the contents.

In choosing what I read or listen to in the business and self-help genre's, I ask myself one thing - do I know all I need to know on this subject yet? Even if I only get one idea, its probably worth the price of the book. Even if Mr. Know-it-all has already seen these ideas, and says they are elementary in his review, if I haven't heard them, they can still help ME. We can't all be exposed to all the ideas in the world - and not learning them because someone says we should already have learned them is ridiculous.

And then, once you've read the book - post your own opinion!

Life Begins...

Brooklyn Grace joined our family yesterday. She has 3 older sisters, and 2 older brothers - all of whom are ecstatic with her existence.

A day old, she is no longer a blank slate. She has experienced hunger, discomfort, confusion, as well as caring, caressing, breastfeeding, warmth, and communication. Every day she will experience and learn more - and I and my wife are primarily responsible for whatever goes into her brain, and fills up her slate.

What are you filling your slate with? It's not empty until you die.

What Are Your Choices?

Do you ever wonder how you ended up where you are today?

Whether you are successful beyond measure, continuing to push toward your dreams, falling short of where you wish you were, or taking steps backwards into a reality you don't want to experience, it all comes down to a simple word.

CHOICE.

We live in a world which encourages us to escape our right to make choices, and trains us to become passive to the choices others make for us. We talk about what our parents did to us, or our teachers, or our spouses, or some other outside force. What we rarely discuss is our responsibility, in fact, our POWER, to choose our response.

If we have been victimized, it is our choice to remain a victim, or to move on with our life. If we have been mistreated, it is our choice to continue submitting to the treatment, or remove ourselves from the situation.

If we are rich and successful, this is also a result of our choices. Even were we an heir or heiress, we choose to stay liquid vs. blowing the money.

Invariably, it is not those at the extremes that truly battle with the concept of choice. It is the 95 percent of the world somewhere in the middle. Those not quite where they want to be. Those facing the normal struggles of life: a bad boss, a tough marriage, rough health issues. Risks of expansion, quitting a job, or taking a new job.

We say "I can't do" whatever it is that would change our situation, and blame it on circumstances - our family, our bills, our government, sometimes even our religion. So we don't do. And ultimately, that is a CHOICE. Inaction is as much a choice as action.

Don't waste your POWER. Your right to live as you choose. To think what you want to think. To be who you want to be.

You are your CHOICE.

The Perspective of Success

Is success having it all, having the ability to have it all, giving it all away, or not needing it at all?

The world would answer "having it all". The ability to have it all is more the Sam Walton still drives a beat-up pick-up truck mentality. Giving it all away may mean living within your means and donating the rest.

Not needing to have it all - is that modesty, discipline, or settling?

What is having it all to you? Is it wrapped up in cars, homes, and other 'toys'? Is it family and fun? Is it good health? Clothes? Entertainment? For some, having it all is simply have the some outflow of money as inflow, without any real sacrifices.

Success can be found at many levels, and my success may not be your success. Even the more politically correct forms of success - the mushy gushy "my child looked at me and said I was the best Daddy ever" doesn't necessarily translate into success.

What is your definition of success? When you look in the mirror in the morning. When you sit alone in your car. When you lay awake at night. Are you content? Are you reaching YOUR goals? When its not about THEM - your boss, your friends, your family - are YOU satisfied with your day, your effort, your actions?

Are you a success?

For Today, Just be Positive

Cynicism, negativity, sarcasm are rampant in the world today. Is it any wonder depression and hopelessness seem such easy places for us to go when the chips are down?

Even when faced with the option to be positive, our brain often tells us to "face reality", take off the "rose-colored glasses", and to quit being a "Pollyanna".

These statements have been ingrained in our psyche by those who have fallen prey to meloncholy themselves. They may be trying to drag us back to "reality", but it is THEIR reality, not MINE, and not YOURS.

Anthony Robbins and others talk about the 7 day mental diet - a week of positive thinking. I suggest the One-Day-at-a-Time Mental Diet. Just try it TODAY. Write a one hundred percent positive journal page. Disallow any negative TV or news or people from your life. If a negativity appears, deal with it head on without dwelling on it, or look at it from a completely new perspective. Give yourself a choice, as I often do with my children: "I said no for now - you can either cry about it in your bed, or you can find something more fun to do".

Life is life, and negativity happens. What's YOUR choice?

Apprentices Learn Value of Presentation Skills

By not having any!

Kristine and Nicole discovered the downfalls of Powerpoint when their presentation wouldn't come up, leading the Donald to comment on how bad and choppy their presentation was - ultimately they had to bring in James, from an opposing team, to help. Once it was up, it still did nothing to help what were clearly two overmatched Apprentices.

Always be prepared for Powerpoint to fail - know your presentation backward and forwards. If your slides are that important, just send them the disk - who needs YOU!

They were nervous, repetitive, and downright boring. Amazingly, only Kristine was fired from the group, for using an incorrect phone number on the brochure. Details, details...

Frank and Heidi were also victims of stagefright, with Heidi offering about 15 seconds of what should have been a two-minute intro to their video. Instead, the video (which was truly awful) was immediately shown, followed by the brochure, a literary disaster. People and pictures sell, folks, not endless verbage, particularly light type on a dull, black background. Frank out argued Heidi for the blame, and Heidi was out the door.

James and Stefani however, were on top of their game. After being overly flattering to Trump, they got into the meat of their presentation, offering both a well designed video and solid picture boards with their marketing plan. They both seemed comfortable talking, and didn't take away from their concept.

Ultimately, they were the winners - but not because Trump liked their concept the most. He leaned more towards Kristine and Nicole's idea of "Gold", which was ruined only by their lousy communication skills, inability to tame Powerpoint, and inexcusable use of a wrong phone number.

Do you let your presentation skills get in the way of your product? You may have the greatest bread slicer in history, but if the knife salesman speaks better, he will win in the end.

How does Quitting fit into Persistence?

Quitting and Persistence would seem to be mutually exclusive. I have found, however, that quitting can be a key component in persistence, when used strategically.

Persistence indicates a willingness to continue to pursue a goal - whether it be getting an ice cream cone, pursuing one's true love, or fulfilling a lifetime goal. We approach each with singlemindedness, which is often a strategic mistake. While there are often many paths to a destination, we as individuals are not always suited to all paths.

If I wanted to summit a mountain, I can choose to climb it, parachute down to it, take a helicopter, or even just take the road that ends at the top. Some routes are harder than others, some possess unique rewards, but all end at the same place. If I choose to drive up, and my car breaks down, do I head back to the city, fix the car and go another day? Perhaps. I can also "quit" trying to make that path work for me and start climbing up. If I break my leg, I can "quit" walking, call Helicopter R Us to rescue me and take me the rest of the way. Despite "quitting" twice, I still summit the mountain.

Regrouping, stepping back, taking a detour, and changing direction are all valid ways to "quit" while still working toward your eventual goal. The question is how far behind will it take you? Will your rewards push you to your real goal?

When you have a clear destination, don't be afraid to "quit" trying to arrive there the way you intended to. Be open-minded, and ready to see other paths. As long as you keep your true north, you will always get there eventually.

Time is a Matter of Perspective

My two oldest children are looking forward to a trip to visit their Biological Father (BF). Since they were told the tickets were booked, they talk about the trip everyday, to everyone who'll listen. They are looking forward to swimming, and the zoo, and playing video games - and of course, seeing BF.

They are so excited one of their teachers asked us when the trip was - sounded soon. In actuality, it is July! To kids, Christmas or their birthday is always tomorrow, and Halloween must happen once a month. As adults, our understanding of time is a burden unto itself - getting through the harsh, cold winter, surviving the long, hot summer. Hoping the Christmas season doesn't start before the last Christmas ends.

How do you use YOUR time? Is it your ally, or enemy? Can you stay in the moment during something joyful, and speed time up when life is bad? We often do just the opposite. Start being aware of your perspective of time - we all have the same amount, but how you look at it will determine how you spend it!

Hard Choices

I had a high-paying job come my way this week. A sales position with the promise of a six-figure income in 12 months - more than I've made to date. It wasn't commission based, and was a straight-forward, good situation.

The only catch was that they wanted 100% commitment. They knew of my speaking and coaching - a quick Google search was enough for them. All I had to do was give up my dream.

I turned it down. I may be financially strapped, but I will not give up my dream that easily. 100K would solve a lot of problems right now, but stepping out of my dream would destroy me inside, and I'd end up without the 100K or my dream.

I will continue to pursue my passion. I will not let the enemy steal my future!

Why am I back?

To be perfectly honest, I've resurrected this blog because it came up fairly high in the search engine if you look for "Rich Hopkins", and since I'm competing with both a musician and a stunt double for name recognition, I thought I better take advantage!

Isn't it amazing how often we overlook resources that we've gathered or created? At Toastmasters last week, a speech was given using a box full of old photos and journals from a University class over 100 years ago. The speech was about how eventually our lives are just dust, and what matters is the 'dash', and that we better enjoy it while we can.

As the evaluator, I couldn't resist pointing out the potential for an all out keynote speech from this material, a website, a book - so many things that the riches in that box could lead to.

Is it time for you to reassess your resources? What do you have in your possession right now that could change your life? When was the last time you cleaned out your attic, closet, or garage?

The people around us often become 'lost resources'. Who do you know that could make a connection to help you change direction in a job, or even just a casual dream? Do you walk into local stores and meet the people close to you?

We can sit and wish we had something or knew someone, or we can go out and find it for ourselves. And sometimes, its in our own backyard.